hello everyone,my game is near done,ready for publish,the only question is my poor english,i am very worried about that,so any help to correct any grammar of in these sentences?
Here is the game video:
1.Please wait,newbie guide is playing…
2.Newbie guide is over
3.Operation of Newbie guide can’t be saved
4.Vine growth has been frozen because of sluggish
5.Vine growth has been frozen because of beneath the earth
6.Task success,next level?
7.Task failed,continue?
8.Game saved
9.Can’t save game
10.It is playing history data now, you can take control at anytime
11.There is no history data, general game mode now
12.There is no history data to replay
13.Slide on screen which controls the growth direction of vine
14.The gem will make vine spawn a flower and add 5 points,the delta amount will add up if continuously eat gem
15.The white stone will add 1 point
16.The black stone will subtract 5 points,\n the delta amount will add up if continuously eat black stone
17.Vine will spawn branch which has the ability of collect stone
18.Balloon is key element in game,which add 50 points, if all balloons are collected and score is big than 0,the level is pass
19.Balloon can tint white stone to gem
20.Task is finished when all balloon has been collect, you can still stay in game,but the score is freezed
21.These butttons can adjust the angle of view
22.This button can adjust the field of view
23.This button will open Score and Options Panel
6 Task complete, proceed to next level? 7 Task failed, replay level? 8-9 are ok. 21-23 are good.
Many of those sentences don’t make enough sense for an English speaker to be able to translate. I recommend finding someone who speaks your native language and English to help you.
You need a proper translation. Most cannot be “fixed” because they make no sense. The ones that do make sense are fine for a video game but could be better. Either get a proper translation or don’t use English or don’t care about it.
Find a native English speaker who likes games. Let them play your game. When one of them tells you they REALLY LIKE your game… ask them to help you fix the grammar. It’s a small enough bunch of sentences that someone who understands your game and likes playing it could do it in less than an hour.
I’ve gone through and done what I could.
Loading tutorial…
Tutorial complete
Cannot save tutorial progress
Vine growth halted: too slow
Vine growth halted: underground
Level complete! Continue?
Level failed! Try again?
Game saved
Save failed
Playback mode - take control any time
Playback complete - general game mode
No history data for playback
Slide to control the direction of vine growth
Gems are 5 points and spawn flowers - delta increases as more are eaten
White stones are 1 point
Black stones lose 5 points - the delta amount will add up if continuously eat black stone
Vines spawn branches that collect stones
Balloons are 50 points - collect all balloons to pass the level
Balloons can turn white stones into gems
All balloons collected - you can keep playing, but score is locked
Adjust the view angle
Adjust the field of view
Open the Score and Options window
I have made certain parts of this text bold because I don’t understand it. On 10 and 11, why was history data being played, and is “general game mode” the mode where you are actively playing? On 14, what is “delta” and what is being “eaten?” On 16, do black stones make the delta go up or down? When you “add up” negative numbers, they get more and more negative.
All the rest seems reasonably obvious, but might sound weird if I’m wrong about how your game is played. At the very least, your game will now mostly come across like it was written by a native English speaker.
You guy are pretty good man,Thank you very very much
A. Exactly: “General game mode” is the mode where you are actively playing.
B. delta is points/score
C. Exactly:Black stones make delta go down, " add up- negative numbers,they get more and more negative"
Here are my correction by google translation of “add up” from a chinese word:)
14.Gems are 5 points and spawn flowers, delta points accumulated as more are eaten
16.Black stones lose 10 points, delta points accumulated as more are eaten
eg.
[gem 1, delta=5,score=5; gem 2,delta=10,score=15]
[black 1,delta=-10,score=-10; black 2,delta=-20,score=-30]
And I feel sorry about the error in tutorial video,
So in the video when the first black stone takes 10 points away,I thick that confuses you
(if you are still there)
I think I am starting to get it. So delta points are something like combo points.
If you keep getting blue and purple gems in succession they are worth more. First one is 5, second 10, third 15. So all three of them give 30 points. Black ones do the opposite, if you get two in a row you don’t lose just 10 points but 15, 5 for the first one and 10 for the second one. I assume from the video white gems reset the delta score, right?
If you are not in too much of a hurry I can try and help you translate it.
So, here is my list. I put my questions inside [ ] for each one.
Please wait, the tutorial is loading.
Tutorial completed.
You can’t save during the tutorial. [I assume this is what this means, unless it appears if something goes wrong during the saving process.]
[I would like to know when this appears first before I attempt to make it look better, does it appear if the game runs slowly? And what exactly happens, does the game pause?]
[Same as above.]
Level passed, go to the next level? [I don’t know where and when this appears so it might be a bit too long]
Level failed, try again? [Does this restart the level?]
Game saved.
You can’t save the game right now. [Does this appear if the player is not allowed to save or if the save process fails?]
[I don’t know what history data is yet.]
[Same as above.]
[Same as above.]
Use the slider on the screen to control the direction of the vine’s growth.[This is correct if the slider on the video shows in game and wasn’t there just for reference.]
Gems are worth 5 points and will spawn a flower. When you collect multiple gems in a row, every gem is worth 5 points more than the previous one. [What do flowers do and is there a difference between purple and blue gems?]
The white stone is worth 1 point and will reset the worth of the gems to 5. [If I am wrong about the way it works, tell me so I can change it.]
Black stones take away 5 points. Much like gems, when you collect multiple black stones in a row, each stone will take away 5 points more than the previous one.This will reset when you collect a gem or a white stone. [Again, if I am wrong, please correct me.]
The vine will spawn a branch, which has the ability to collect stones and gems. [This mechanic is not explained very well, is the branch spawned from the flowers? If so, only from the flowers by the purple gem? Does the player have control of the direction of the branch? Does it pick up black stones? Can a branch spawn a branch? Do the gems and stones the branch pick up count towards the delta counter?]
Balloons are a key element of the game, they are worth 50 points and will reset the worth of gems and black stones. To pass the level you have to collect all the balloons and have a positive score when you do.
When you collect a balloon, it turns nearby white stones to gems of the same color. [Only white stones, not black stones or gems, right?]
The level is over when you collect all the balloons. You can keep playing on the level, but your score will stay the same.[ Is this true for all the levels, or the tutorial only?]
These buttons can adjust the view angle.
This button can adjust the field of view.
This button will open the Score and Options window.
Yes,Player can take control any time in playback mode.
Tip of 11 is used for an exception branch like a initial error(i think that should not happen but for code safe),
All the 23 tips are not all for tutorial(this video)
I will upload more videos and screen shot later on (youTube or facebook- i really should have a page on it),if you have any interest you can have a look at it,and then i am going to publish it on app store.
Yes, white stone reset the delta score
there are only 3 kinds of stone,gems ,white and black
gems have no sub-kind of colors(color of gems can work,but i will not do that, it will make game complicate and confuses most of the player ,so i will not do job about color of gems)
and it matters nothing with coordinate of stones,such as row or column
[It is a game of plant growth,it consumes memory and cpu more and more,so the fps drops when time goes by,at some point (such as fps=20) i have to stop it to prevent app from crash]
[desert or platform,player may goes down.]
[when balloons collected,I should post a screen shot]
[I should post a screen shot]
[Yes, the save process fails, such as player try save a level without any changes]
[player plays,then him can save his operation]
[there is no difference between purple and blue gems,flowers are feedback of gems]
15.[Yes,you are right.]
[Yes]
[the branch spawn has no relations with flower or gem,the player has no control of the direction of the branch. A branch do spawn a branch,naturely. branch same as main except the ability of collect balloons]
[Yes.Only white stones, not black stones]
[ Yes. this is true for all the levels]
Thanks for your help
I think “cdarklock” has do a great translation for me,but i do appreciate your help
