Critic my work, thank you, be brutually honest!

@S7ARBVCK

Thanks for your comments. Its great to get some honest critical reviews.

I’m actually surprised about the pixel art comments. Yeah, Night Divine is lacking but I thought the rest were pretty good.

My subject has been too ‘girly’, I think. I agree with that. I’m planning on my next game to swing to the other end of the spectrum, as far as this goes. :wink:

I’d really like to hear from others too. Please take a look at my games on iTunes and tell me what you think. Hold nothing back, be brutally honest.

To see my apps, search ‘randy edmonds’ in iTunes.

I’m not sure I agree on the art aspect, but then I’m a programmer. The apps themselves are nice, with music being more important than scenery. They do as advertised, and calm the senses or provide focus.

It’s not the apps which seem to be the issue, but the users. What I see is that you are hitting areas, like Lifestyle, which has this sampling in the top 20 paid:

Bikini Blast
Sexy Bikini
Cute Asian Girls
Sexy Spin
MagicPen - Sexy Dissolver
Bikini Girls 2

If 6 of the top 20 paid apps are like that, then you’re just not giving the users what they want. If they are willing to purchase 6 apps with roughly the same content, then you need to provide a twist within what they get already. Sad, but true. As they say, “Don’t sell porn in a church or a bible at a strip club.”

Hi Randy, I’ll try to be brutally honest! :twisted:
First of all I think you are doing something unique and you got my respect for that already!
I downloaded Zen of Clover and played around with it,
I agree with S7ARBVCK, regarding the homebrewish look.
I think the reason for it is first of all the font you used and the glow effect on the drop shadow effect. I think the choice of fonts are ok but the effect makes it look dirty and messy. Ther first splash screen looks 10 times better than the second one just because of the font effect.
The other problem with the graphics I believe is the realistic styling - or no styling. People are so used to see real object with real textures that it’s really really hard to choose to be realistic and avoid the feeling of “something aint right about that” unless you go real real far with that and go hyper realistic. The same thing applies also to animation (I used to be a pro animator) when you animate realistic people there is always a feeling that something is wrong. but when you animate cartoons you can get away with just about anything.

About the mechanics of the game itself - I didn’t understand how to move at first , I managed to tilt the phone and understand that but that’s it. then I saw the instructions on iTunes. I think you should put them in the game.
And I kept asking myself what I have to do here… realizing that I don’t have to do anything except playing with the clovers .
I need you to tell me when I get in the game what I have to do (or not do).
I think that for a game like this I would like to fly around a larger area with more to explore and play with - or play with other stuff in the environment like the flowers or water.

I don’t think you should choose a completely different topic , you are doing something really unique and I am sure there is a market for it, maybe not a big one but there is also not a lot people doing what you are doing so it evens up. I am not your target audience but I think you should find 10 people that are your target audience and ask them what they think would make this better for them.

I liked the sound but you can’t hear it w/o headphones which is a shame.

And one last thing… I think the weather should be sunnier, it’s a bit cloudy .
Hope this helps you!

I think S7ARBVCK summed it up pretty well.

I haven’t downloaded your apps, but looking at the screenshots and descriptions, all 7 of them sound like the same thing. They all appear to be trying to offer a “meditative experience.” I don’t think every app should be a violent zombie shooter or an action-packed racing game, and I commend your efforts to offer something less conventional. But at the same time, I can’t think of anything less meditative than poking around with my iPhone. These are entertainment devices first and foremost, so I think your products are just way off the mark. It’s like trying to sell admission to a zen garden, but you’ve built it in the middle of a theme park. People are there for the rollercoasters.

Do you play many games? What have you liked, and what inspired you to make your own? This is what has informed most of my work, not just design wise, but visually as well. I don’t think its wise to think “well, I guess kids like cars, so I’ll make a car game,” you should work on what you enjoy of course.

I disagree with the others, about the homebrewish look. Only the Rainbows app had looked homebrew to me, I think the others show good production values.

Your most successful app is Zen of Snow, and it seems that’s telling you something-- its fairly mainstream, everyone was wanting christmas apps during christmas…

You might want to release a free version of the clover apps, and then make a paid version that is $5 or $10. Make the paid version have several environments.

The reason I say this is that its a limited appeal market (I think, if I’m understanding correctly) and that those who are buying are buying specifically for what they do, not because they are cheap. Competing on price is good when you’re in the mainstream and everything’s crowded. When you’re outside the mainstream, I suspect higher prices will not kill your sales.

But generally, I agree that you may want to pursue some more broad-appeal categories.

Hi Randy,

I’ll start by saying I’m only going by the pictures I saw, for better and worse. You seem to have an “Inner peace” thing going on in all that I saw, which is fine. I agree with previous statements about the rainbow title, it seems less polished than the others, followed by the Irish clovers title (I actually don’t see a great difference between that and Zen of clover, but then I didn’t play them). I will avoid further product by product reviews for now and focus on what I think is the root of your post, “what am I doing wrong”, or “how do I do better”.

I don’t see anything wrong per se. I take if from your post you are defining "success’ in terms of fiscal returns. You should either analyze your market to better meet demand, or goals if you would like more immediate returns. Let me try and explain:

If your primary goal (even short term) is stronger returns, then you are likely better served by building apps/games that are in the highest demand. Then apply your unique take on the genre to distinguish your products. This is fairly well known model for North American (and most other) market penetration.

If you would like to continue with your current track, I believe it can be done, but you need to nurture your market and build a following using a couple of strategies:

  1. build a roadmap of products. You seem to have produced a number of titles, but you need to plan what to build, when to sell, and (where possible) cross sell-up sell opportunities.
  2. Intentionally build a market within your space. As noted, within lifestyle, there are a number of themes emerging from the successful apps, your market space doesn’t have a strong following in the leading apps. The 2 apps I would categorize as close to yours in the top 20, one is marketing primarily as a sleep aid, then other (which has lower sales but higher approval ratings) simply appeals to the “green culture” and simple pleasure of planting a tree and watching it grow… On a phone (I won’t comment on that :wink: ). There are many “peaceful sound experience” CDs available in dept stores, and longevity would seem to indicate at least a moderate market. Seek ways to target the same customer base.
  3. Do a ton of market research!! Learn the demographics of the iPhone, those that purchase “feel good” or “peaceful experience” sound, smell, etc… products and look for marketing approaches. A title with Zen in it has a particular connotation and market appeal, sometimes a simple title change can shift perception.
  4. broaden your market. We’re talking sales and marketing here, so, please, no one take offense :slight_smile: . The iPhone is an excellent platform for game (and app) distribution within a clearly definable demographic(s) and geographic regions. North Americans have a on-again-off-again love affair with stress relief tools, games, scent release devices, etc… As you can see in your sales numbers, certain holidays and targeted apps will gain more attention than general delivery.

The iPhone, is a luxury item, most broadly penetrated in the US (first), Europe, and then some secondary markets (I don’t have carrier/sales info for other markets, but Canada, Australia are 2 I know has providers at least. On the other hand, cell phones in general are in much broader use world wide (there’s a article on Gamasutra about South Africa’s game market that talks partially to cell phone penetration and phone game use). You can build a following in the big iPhone markets, but, frankly, there are other cultures around the world that place higher value on products like yours than the US (there are even key areas of the US that would see the appeal of your apps more than others). Europe, well, … for a product like yours, you’d have to do a geography by geography examination of each market (sometimes ignoring boarders) and tune your marketing to each with attention to actual iPhone usage/ownership numbers. My, seemly lost, message here is: port your apps for a broader market to work with. :slight_smile:

I guess key to my rambling response is it comes down to where you want to go. Mainstream apps/games/genres are mainstream for a reason (market demand and broad market appeal). You make good apps, if you love the space you’re in then grow it!! It takes more work, and the first sign you’re doing it right is when the flood of copy cats follows you!

Hope this helps,

Galen

Hi Randy,

Sorry to hear you’re not doing so well. It’s obvious you do good work and I commend your persistence.

I can’t really say any more than what has already been said by others. They were pretty thorough. But, I do have one piece of advice.

Whatever game you decide to do next, make sure it is something that you like and that you aren’t just doing it for sales. If you believe in your project, it will show. If you don’t, that will show also.

If all else fails, just throw some zombies and guns into one of your existing titles. I can see it now. "The snow was falling peacefully. It was so relaxing when suddenly, Zombie Attack! Aaaahhh!"

I hope you smiled a bit. :slight_smile:

As history has shown beeing honest only brings you into trouble, again and again… :O)

But i kind of agree two themes which kind of always sell, if the whole project isn’t a mess already, are indeed zombies and aliens, alien zombies might be worth a try, maybe friendly, weird decision making zombie aliens acting like humans, cats, ice cream and the other way around…nice idea coming up - will scribble that down.

Anyway from a short observation of the screens:
Dislike the style, filesize from a users pov looks too large (i hope they don’t show up a slpash logo when you have to pay for it), just not what i’m interested in because it doesn’t look sexy, weird, complex, interesting enough and for playing around there already exist more fascinating alternatives, if you have the time for it at all.

Well … I was writing a looooong review with methodical analysis and advices to your work, when I found a common point to all the enumerations :

Just compare your work to professional products.
If you feel you’re below them, just wipe what you’ve done, and retry from scratch.

But do it step by step, like

  • visuals,
  • sound,
  • gameplay,
  • theme,
  • global quality

Casual gaming doesn’t mean random gaming, so by an extent random quality. Your overall quality is not bad, but is not sufficiently good to match actual professional standards. (I’m talking about professional here because you expect to sell).

Another very important point : you’re in an overcrowded area, so expect to face extremely rude judgments from potential buyers, as they do not take the time to feel before buying. They are guided by instinct, because honestly you can’t study every game to see if it will be entertaining or not.
It’s a 15 seconds eye-contact judging situation. Not more. And we have to deal with it. That’s why you will find mostly primitive themes on top 100, like fighting, shocking, childish visuals or sex. Everything that can be identified in less that 15 seconds, in fact.

So if you want to sell, you have to match your potential clients spirit, act like them for every little bit of quality check in your product : Let your instinct be the judge.

One interesting exercise would be to keep your themes, and try to catch attention of people you know within those few seconds, by every mean : could be words, a picture, a sound, a story. Whatever, when you come to 15 seconds, and if your audience is catched, you got your main content. Then developp it, make it rich, make it rise, without walking out the bounds those precious 15 seconds set for you.

After all, you are open minded, and that’s the best quality you could expect for progression.

Good luck.

Randy,
I don’t think your experience is at all unusual. There have some big hits on the App Store and some little hits but most of the apps there just don’t get an audience. Some because they stink, others that are really good.
There are certainly some people out there that would love your apps but they need to find them in an ocean of other apps that would appeal to them. Maybe making a bloody game with zombies or bikinis would get you the hit most devs have been hoping for, but how many zombie games will be out there by the end of the month? If you have a distinctive style and vision and you care about it, perseverance will help you polish your skills in presenting that vision and you could end up with a hit doing just what you want to be doing.
I think Zen Bound is a great example of a big success that goes well against some of what would seem the obvious killer features and it’s one app that seems to have a similar feel to what appeals to you.
You have good skills and have made some decent stuff but probably your average dev time on the apps has been about two to three weeks? You might want to see what kind of work you could produce in two or three months. It would be a bigger risk but you might get to know your own skills and own vision better through doing it and the extra work and polish might garner you the attention (and sales) you’d like to see.
Just my thoughts…

I am so ashamed that my application is seelling…1 or two copies a day. I really need to know what is going on… please, help me.

The link to the app is:

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewSoftware?id=307445983&mt=8

Thanks guys

@Lima: The game looks good. Probably the price tag. What about making a lite version and put Admob ads at the top of the screen and put the scores a bit more into the wooden area? I bet you receive a lot of downloads.

Added: Probably people don’t find your game because there is no “table soccer” in the description. And maybe add a little prosa to the text. It’s too short to know what I get for 1.99 US$.

Thanks Martin. What do you mean by AdMob ads? I’ll try your tips and see if my sales improve. Give me your e-mail so i can send you a promo code for the game as a thanks gift for your suggestions.

All the best

I’ve got an idea for you, Randy:

Zen Zombie Bikini Vampire Lighter

It’s a cigarette lighter sim with jiggling boobs on it, which you flick meditatively to increase your vampire score so you can be the biggest vampire in the vampire club. Alternately, you can play as a zombie.

It preserves your identity, yet makes allowances for the reality of the market.

You may send me my royalties via Paypal.

I can’t use promo codes as I live in germany. You find Admob at www.admob.com and an enhancement pack that makes it easy to integrate here:

http://forum.unity3d.com/viewtopic.php?t=18614&highlight=enhancement

Thanks a lot, Martin!

Hi Randy
been some sound advice given Nomad very insightfull…not reviewed your work but I like your candor and your honesty the fact that you posted on the issue in my view says a lot about your charector.

Dont be to disheartened by the sales but really try n push the envelope on the next products dont rush it nurture it like its your offspring n give it love and attention… easy said than done when you have to pay bills and u are trying to recoup your investment but I feel its a must if you want to succeed and even if you dont make a number 1 potential clients will see your product and be more likely to employ u for freelance projects.

good luck Randy
:smile:

Thanks to everyone who has posted. Your candor and suggestions… the time you’ve taken to write, in many cases, lengthy and well thought out ‘reviews’ … are just amazing. There is a great bunch of people on this forum.