No I don’t think it looks very good. If I said it looked good, it would not be helping you.
- not really sure what is going on. A great trailer you can tell what is going on without audio
- rinse and repeat is not a selling point, it just says thats all you can do, over and over
It looks interesting to me (I’m a big fan of colours and retro feel) but I’m just thinking about what people might think if they did not know anything about the game 
Hippo is right for sure on the second thing as it doesn’t sound very appealing…
I can kind of tell what’s going on in the video but I know nothing of the game at all and the trailer doesn’t capture my attention all that much to be honest.
It’s a trimmed down version of this one sounds like I have cut out too much!
I don’t have sound atm but that was very unclear, some flame orb things flying around, projectiles with trails, really dark… no clear objective.
“rinse and repeat” on something that looks boring and unfinished motives the person watching this in the direction that they are feeling. If it was totally epic and you were destroying massive space ships with lolcannon’s and watching them crash into planets and explode them then hey, that would be a good thing to ‘rinse and repeat’
2nd vid is clearer, i like the towers falling apart. looking so far up would get annoying though.
I’m still not sure what is going on even after watching the 2 and a half minute version, I see some kind of scuba connection so I assume I am playing a diver. I get washed up on an island, receive a weapon that shoots out Air Hockey disks and then try to stop God playing Jenga?
That is what I get told from the trailer, how close was I?
@Varedis - Well close but it’s Thor style boomerang hammer, and your nemesis is from the Dark side!
Ah, well that clarifies things.
@zerobounds think tower attack in 3D!
I get the idea but it could have maybe better camera angles, maybe a camera attached to the hammer while it’s flying at the tower… Give it some action something that makes it pull you in. I agree with the having to look up etc. Also the scuba thing really didn’t tie into the rest of the trailer. I do like the towers and effects those are looking good.
The cameras aren’t smooth.
Other then that, looks alright.
don’t let this put you off though! assuming it is free, its perfectly acceptable fun. If it was for sale, I would offer a much more critical eye, but its not is it? its just a bit of original ish fun
WIP Trailer does this work better?
Nah, for one the text cuts off the music, which is very unprofessional. Also, IMO, you use too much text. I don’t want to have to read a block of text in a game trailer, and you should try to use images and sound rather than text to explain whats going on, its much more entertaining.
You should be aiming to make potential players curious about your game. Don’t explain everything there is about it, leave people wanting to know more.
Good luck!
-Blacklight
-
“Diving You Find an Open and Ancient Chest” (seems ok)
-
Shows character reading something then swirls to next scene (swirl effect seems stuck for a few seconds at the end, maybe you can remove the stuck part or apply a fade effect to make it less "solid)
-
Shows a weird watery place for a second then switches to text (maybe take out this part because it doesn’t seem to show anything in particular…just skip to the text maybe. The drum part also sounds cut off at the wrong moment, maybe find a place where it is a bit prolonged or at least where it stops “right”)
-
“You awake battered and soaked in the surf of a strange island” (seems to go by so fast, maybe extend it by 1 or 2 seconds)
-
Shows character looking around and then moves to the “Take This” sign. (I suggest removing the looking around part and instead just include the part where the character is moving towards the “Take This” sign as the drum begins to play again)
-
“Strange red crystal towers and the sound of drums draw you towards them…” (it disappears too fast, maybe extend by 2 or 3 seconds)
-
Shows montage (remove the “Take This” sign part right at the beginning of this montage, maybe replace it with more tower/crystal shooting action)
-
“Can You Survive this Evil Place” (maybe extend by 3 to 4 seconds, end it with a fade effect)
What I think about trailers is you have to give equal priority in sending the general story or message of the game while also showing what you can do in it. The idea of showing text (since you probably don’t have a narrator available) is also good and it has worked for a lot of games and movies. So far, your texts are able to tell the viewer part of what happened to the character, which is good. It just needs a little adjusting here and there for the duration. The only thing I see that’s lacking in the new trailer are action segments near the end. In my opinion, near the end of this trailer would be the best place to showcase the actions in the game, such as dodging shots from the towers and shooting back at them.
Anyway I hope my suggestions help you somehow:) I kinda have some trailer making experience from past games so I just wanted to share what worked for me, good luck and have fun:) Lemme share something similar I worked on → http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8-Os3IlJpo
This is the latest version, I might tweak it a bit but it will have to do for now!
Yes, because the last trailer looks decent.
Now it looks better than previous
nice what unity you have been using?