Okay, cards on the table, I’m exhausting everyone and probably myself most of all with my relentless posting.
And especially my relentless project jumping.
This is beyond sad and there probably needs to be a disorder named after me ay this point.
I had a game ready to ship and bailed on it because there was some issues with the non-profit I was going to work with on it.
That’s where my profile pic comes from and I know I need to let it go starting with changing my pic.
But yeah, I’m 43. Have been all about game dev since my commodore 64, that Atari programming cart, and click and play.
I spent years and years with build engine, struggled with torque and ogre.
And then Unity came along and made everything so simple.
I don’t know if I give up at the slightest amount of friction, get bored, or get afraid that I got put my critiques aside and put up or shut up.
And it doubly hurts me that if I’m being honest that I have a difficult personality for this.
Most people annoy me and small talk is torture. Probably have an antisocial disorder because the only way I can engage with people on the interpersonal is if I make it a game of winning people over and deep down don’t care about people. Not like, I hate people, or don’t have people I care about. I care a lot about some people. But it takes me a long time to get there.
I’m a social snail. And I despise small talk. I like talking about things, you know? Like big things.
Not a lot of people like that in the US when 30% of people read at a 5th grade level.
Not trying to be smug, just real. Obviously that’s not the case here on the forums.
And believe me, I’m aware of the drug of delusion.
Real easy to think that just because you recognize genius doesn’t make you genius.
Just because I can recognize that the Sistine Chapel is genius doesn’t mean I can paint it. A LOT of people can’t say the same.
Put up or shut up, you know?
So I really need to put up and shut up until it’s up.
I’m going to bleed from my fingertips until I’m done.
My five year plan is to make a generic FPS in two years, then make something that is truly from my center in three.
That’s 96 weeks on one the first and 144 for the second.
I’ve decided to do the valve thing and jump around so my mind doesn’t turn to mush.
But I truly believe I can make an fps with 4 episodes and 8 stages each if I schedule it out, but more importantly, keep to it.
So that’s the plan.
Any tips or suggestions?