I think it’s normally the visible number of polygons - anything outside your view should already be optimised away (hopefully!) by the engine, while the ones in the distance are mainly what occlusion culling is about. It’s hard to find exact numbers because you usually don’t view a whole scene at once.
If you have a top-down game with a fairly close to the ground camera you can go wild with the complete scene, up to many millions for even mobile, since you might only be looking at under 100k polygons in the camera frame. I think mobile struggles beyond half a million visible polygons at once, maybe? Less for cheaper devices.
We’ve moved on to new tricks which reduce the need for polygons in the final game model, through layers of different types of maps (texture, detail, occlusion, displacement etc.) to give the impression of detail where there really aren’t polys. These different maps are baked from the source model, so game models can be far less complex while still retaining what’s needed for interesting visuals. Texture memory available is also all over the place on mobile, while on desktops even budget cards now have 4GB VRAM. Even integrated GPUs have cool shaders and plenty of memory.
I think the best rule of thumb for buildings is to model it and reduce polygon counts until you get to the step before you can tell the difference visually on a fully textured building, then optimise the textures down until you hit the last point that looks like maximum quality. On a desktop or console platform you’re also going to have to expect really high resolutions these days, which makes the texture resolution requirement for a good representation higher.
Then there are the character models. You can probably first do the same as for buildings. If you don’t have any advanced facial animation that’s one area to reduce the polys a lot.
Another rule of thumb often seen in top-down games is to focus on the torso and weapons, keep the legs low-detail. It’s probably going to be similar for a 3D single-player game, where the legs and torso can be fairly simple relative to the arms and weapons, but everything will be slightly more complex for multiplayer. At 10k-40k a character model will look very good, unless you’re going for something like L.A. Noire.
So it can be boiled down to: Go as low as you can before it hurts. If it’s still too heavy after occlusion culling and LOD tweaking, find trade-offs. Good shaders and textures can regain much of what you lose.
Disclaimer: I’m just a coder. I’m sure pro artists get yelled at enough about polygon waste to know more on the subject 