How to make ponytail physics?

I need to accomplish a ponytail with physics, and am struggling with some weird issues caused by joints + colliders. I’ve added some bones into my ponytail, rested it on my characters shoulders, and all looks great. Then I add some joints, and things flop around passing through everything (expected as there are no colliders). Once I add a collider, it freaks out. Even when it isn’t colliding with anything, it just goes all over the place.

How would I accomplish this?

maybe particles or shader or both