I'm new, can someone PLEASE teach me the ropes?

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List Of Tutorials

How can I start learning Unity fast? ( List Of Tutorials )

Anything. I can't look at the videos because Quicktime doesn't work on my computer. I literally know nothing. A video that's not on Quicktime or just sentences could help me. Please.

I suggest you check out Tornado Twins videos on Youtube, they're very helpful.