Hi all,
I want to ask about a dialogue between 3 people in my game.
Here is the story,
Our hero Tauren is a futuristic commander with his advanced war suit, and his girl partner Sidney provides him some more technological updates and one of them is a highly intelligent Android with trainable artificial intelligence capability (Miki).
In a scene, we saw Sindy fixing Miki and the other day, while Tauren and Miki fighting together the dialog below happens between them.
Android: - Hey boss, do you want to hear something funny? I was with your girlfriend last night and it was funny.
Tauren: - It was your maintenance night wasnât it?
Android: - Yeah yeah (in a reckless tone of voice) she fixed my (after a short break) gadgets.
Tauren: - Obviously she didnât your mouth. Besides she is not my girlfriend.
Android: - Which part of you gets longer when you say lie? Because obviously, it is not your nose
Tauren: - Which part of you should I remove to get your tongue smaller?
Android: - Your girlfriend doesnât like it if my tongue gets smaller, she programmed me to talk you know.
Tauren: - No, she only forgot you in the vibration mode.
Android: - If I were in vibration mode I wouldnât talk.
Tauren: - That is the difference between you and me, I can talk while vibrating.
Here is the question do I get any ban or restriction in Android store and others because of these kinds of dialogues?
That depends on the Android store and what the âothersâ actually are, and possibly your location. But if the store offers ratings, why not use them?
It also varies a lot with location/culture. For where I come from, the above dialog probably falls under âTeenâ as far as being mild innuendo or crudity. But somewhere else it might be considered explicit and/or obscene.
This wouldnât get a PEGI 18 even if it was coherent. This is the kinda juvenile stuff youâll see in movies targeted at young adults even after 2010.
Your biggest problems are that the jokes are boring and barely coherent english.
I have doubts that your comments are original and unbiased. Because they smell political and repressed. Also, for a joke to be funny, all the conditions must be met. However, you are only reading what is written here, obviously, you cannot imagine the relevant scene and characters clearly with their voices, emphasizes, background stories and etc.
Besides if you teach someone English at least write English as English not english.
My comments are based on the fact that Iâve had to deal with ratings boards before in multiple contexts, even outside of games. As for your attempt at a âsick dunkâ by going âYOU didnât capitalize English,â thatâs incredibly irrelevant. The purpose of language is communication and I had to read that exchange three times to fully get it. You need to hire a native english-speaking writer or a translator because your biggest problem is STILL that this is:
a tired joke
juvenile at best
borderline incoherent
If I saw this exchange, or any exchange written like it in a screenshot or a video for a game, my first thoughts arenât going to be âwow, this is simply too crude for meâ but âI am not going to put in the effort to struggle through this writing.â
@mfatihbarut donât worry about salty responses. Some people have different sense of humor.
I had no problem understanding context. And maybe dialog is written in this way for the purpose. But it is clear, it is part of longer story. And to be funny, rest of relevant story should be present. However, that is not the goal of this thread, to be amusing.
I definatelly wouldnât classify this as an adult material.
12+ talks much more dirty jokes.
âYou just donât get it/arenât in the moodâ is the lazy writerâs response to criticism. This isnât a good joke and the grammar is far clunkier than it needs to be.
This isnât adult material, itâs not even mature material.
Jokes like these require context. You need to be in a group of people you know and have the conversation lead into them. I donât believe they can work properly in a video game but they might after youâve spent some time with the characters in the game. By themselves theyâre simply not funny and the more you use the less funny they are.
No, they really are not funny. And were not good jokes either, to be completely honest. The fact that nobody here finds them funny (with the closest is people saying that perhaps with context it COULD be funny) and everyone is from different countries and ages, should be a good indication that you should rethink - rather than arguing that it IS funny and that YOU have to be in the right mind etc etc
How many good comedians have to fight to explain why their jokes are funny? Usually at least SOMEONE sees the funny side, but this cross section of audience who is very varied does not. Use that info to your benefit or detriment, its totally up to you.
Also when someone gives you honest feedback, its rude (and a little weird?) to say that they are âpolitical and repressedâ. Nothing political about a joke being not at all funny and poorly written.
Youâre now trying to defend it, which⌠might not be the best idea.
Like I said, you could probably stick it into all-ages game, except kids wouldnât get it.
As for it being or not being funny, well it didnât make me even smile.
Which means you could probably just scrap it. It neither entertains nor offends, but the dialogue feels very strained. Not being offensive is a good thing, not being entertaining is not a very good thing, unless you really want filler.
Online lists have good examples of adult jokes hidden in shows made âFor kidsâ.
Just want to chime in with Murgilod - the english is very, very poor, and you definitely need a native speaker to translate for you if you want to publish that in any professional capacity.
For example: âin a reckless tone of voice.â Thereâs no such thing. If you were hoping to put that in the subtitles, it would only confuse people, and if you were hoping to direct voice acting with it it would do the same.
Another is âshe fixed myâŚgadgets.â (the ellipsis is generally what is used to denote a pause in conversation [itâs also used to denote the skipped portion of a quote, but usually only in professional contexts, and we can ignore that here]). This is very shitty writing you see a lotâweird pauses that people wouldnât use in regular conversation but are meant to make the words punch. Might as well have a laugh track if youâre gonna go this route. A more appropriate way to do the same thing would be to have âgadgetsâ said coyly.
Itâs not a joke, itâs just âlocker room talkâ with a lot of cheesy innuendos that donât make sense.
The English is broken and hard to understand. This dialogue could be used to induce cringe to make a player probably dislike a group of characters, but otherwise Iâd strip it down considerably. Maybe only use one cheesy innuendo and move onto the next scene. Less is more.