Hi, I’m making my card game which is basically a text adventure with card visuals. You draw random cards, read them and react.
Even though the game is supposed to be casual and relaxing, I’m not sure it will be able to hold attention with such amount of text.
So the questions are:
How to make a game made of short text descriptions interesting?
Do you know any resources/tutorials on writing for people with english as a second language?
Some text examples:
character encounter
environment card
item card
First off, please please don’t take this the wrong way, but make sure you get a proofreader eventually.
As for your question, it’s really all down to your writing quality. Media with lots of text depend on writing, there’s no way around it. And if you can write interesting-ly, you’re probably going to keep their attention (if they’re interested in that type of experience in the first place).
Make them even shorter. Jeff Vogel wrote an interesting article, Does Your Game Have Too Many Words? (Yeah, Probably.). He makes some valid points and has some good suggestions. Leave some things up to the player’s imagination to fill in, and tuck other nonessential details in links or tooltips. They say writing is rewriting. Involve a proofreader (as EternalAmbiguity suggests) multiple times for each text, and continually pare away superfluous text.
That said, this sounds like a cool project. I’m interested to see how it turns out!
I’ll really have to get a proofreader, even if I checked every text 5 times, my english isn’t perfect, so I can miss a thing I don’t even know exists. This game is a great english training for me though.
I’ve read a lot about making things short, cutting unnecessary information, adjectives etc. and I think I can’t go much shorter.
A large cvelf wearing modest linen clothes. Faded scars remind of his active youth, balding hair shows time slowly taking its toll. He overlooks the tavern and with a friendly smile he rushes to take orders from incoming customers. And maybe five more words.
That’s everything I can fit into a card right now, and if I went any shorter, I think the descriptions would become more generic, as I have to say something about character’s appearance and character, so the player can make an appropriate decision. My goal is to make the player choose based on how they think the character will react and what they can gain/lose from that.
I’ve also read about how descriptions are the most boring parts in books and how we should try to insert fragments of lore into the action, which I obviously can’t do at all with this game format.
What I read: a middle-aged waiter/tavernkeep bustles about. The biggest problem here is that if you are relying on players making informed decisions based entirely on how well you can paint a pretty picture (without any actually painting involved).
Why is that a problem? It’s the same for pen-and-paper RPGs and choose-your-own-adventure books. It’s a risk, certainly, because it depends on the quality of the writing, but I don’t think it’s a problem in and of itself.
Of course that situation can happen. But the game is (for now) meant for relaxation, it is a worse problem when playing it as a rogue-like. You have general information from card of the place you are in, and the character cards directly say ‘this looks like a shady dealer’, ‘he is looking at you with hungry eyes’ etc.
Most of the time there won’t be a good and a bad choice, just different ones. For example trading with illegal goods merchant will get you a rare item, but changes the view on you, which can lead to both good and bad situations. Ignoring him could get you stabbed, or you could just rise in eyes of moral people.
With an obvious enemy, you will have choices like: attack, ambush, assasinate, or you can use an item on them, persuade etc., the fight options will probably be about higher risk for no damage taken, coins to set up a trap…
I’m only starting so I don’t have much, but in case of the innkeeper, you just talk and he gives you a free meal. When you select an option, there is more description or a dialog(only from his side though). Shady dealer will offer you a ‘liquid that makes problem go away’, but if you start chatting with him instead of trading right away, he won’t offer you anything.
I don’t know yet how deep the cards will go, but for now I see it as 8-15 randomly drawn cards per ‘environment’ and then a random card of other connected environment, the cards will have 2-5 choices, some of which will have continuation choices, then the card gets destroyed.
How many times have you ever been mugged by someone dressed like a street punk? Now, how often have you ever talked with someone looking like that and found them to be rather meek and polite?
It’s a game. You can actually interact with an NPC. Two lines of dialogue are more likely to tell you far more than a paragraph of pretty prose. That dialogue might even be more relevant to gameplay, too.
Play some existing text games and see what you like. I recommend the Inkle games such as Sorcery! or Around the World in 80 Days. They have lots of text and keep it interesting. I’m not sure how their length compares with your target length.
Try to analysis some passages you like and see how it was done.
You should probably write a novel or two first. Or at least publish a few short stories.
A game like this relies entirely on your ability as a writer. And at the moment you don’t have the technical skills down (three of the four cards you showed us have mistakes). And once you get the technical skills down, you still have all of the art of writing to learn. Writing stuff worth reading isn’t easy.
This sounds like a good project for an established writer looking to do something more. Not so much for someone’s first foray into writing.
Thank you for the opinion. It’s true that I’m not a good writer, but I want to make a game before coming to university, and text is the only feasible option. I should probably write in my home language, but that would kill any possible chance of making some money.
I have one ticket for a Steam game and I want to do something small while I have the time.
Anyway the game is fully modable, so worst case I can release it for free and people with language skills can make their own cards.
Yeah I most certainly am, but what can I do, I need to have some portfolio, some released games…
I myself don’t know what I’m trying to accomplish, I think I just want a chance to get into the industry. I’m not sure I want to work in non-game industry(going to CS school).
The game industry requires tough skin. Don’t let a few posts discourage you. A text-based game is a smart idea because you don’t have to worry about graphics. If you think the scope’s too big after reading this thread, consider trimming it down a bit. Even if it only takes 15 minutes to play, if it’s a fun 15 minutes people will enjoy it.
What about writing it in your first language and then translating it later?
Thank you, you are right. I already spent a year making another game which screwed hard, but I learned so much. I will do what I can.
The scope isn’t too big, I have no idea how many environments there will be, but with how the game is set up, I can make a few or many, it shouldn’t make a difference apart from the play time.
I’m not comfortable writing in my language, because it feels useless and I don’t use it much anyway. I will however look for a beginner writer who would make or correct the texts.
Don’t read too much into my comments. A decent editor (or perhaps even regular playtesters) should be able to pick up your mistakes. We are only talking about missing the subtleties of a couple of words. Specifically:
Heh I overlooked the Build, and I got why overlook is wrong while writing this. For unfed vs underfed, I needed online dictionary. So thank you for constructive criticism, I will find somebody to help write and correct the texts, more content and social interactions are nice too.
