Math behind joints

I have a grid of connected positions (Rougly 1k points) and im trying to simulate how they would bend/move if a force was applied at position X (I dont need any collision). Each position has properties like mass and stiffness.

I was going to just use unity joints to connect the different positions but that was way too unstable and neither did it have good enough performance.

Since I dont need any collision my idea now is to simply run some sort of simulation on a seperate thread.

But how would I simulate something like this? Could someone point me in the right direction, maybe a good paper?

i know, ai in the title seems cliche, ignore it because he’s a great youtuber
I Spent a Week Making an AI’s Video Game Idea - YouTube

at 4:40 he talks about a rope simulation that can be extended to nets etc
maybe this will be helpful for making your concept.