Semi sentient liquid issue

So, I have no idea how to achieve this, I’ve been experimenting with lots of things and here is my issue.

Say I have a game object, and some fluid(already done). the fluid is just some custom particle system, not shuriken because that is meant for effects. the game object has a mesh collider or any other type of collider(it doesn’t matter as long as it can be hit with a ray cast). the liquid(L) can be touched and moved by the game object(G), I already have that down, all the physics. what I want is for the fluid to entirely or evenly cover the game object on contact with the fluid, like magnetic liquid. I can’t just use baked animations since there are too many variables to make it look good, one of which is being in VR and my aim is full interaction. another issue is that the particles seem to get stuck to the top of the game object, and I’m pretty sure i know why, i just cant solve it. basically i think that the normal directions to the up direction are causing the particle to always try to face up so when it moves forward it passes 0 degrees and faces backwards. there is also the issue of performance but that can easily be solved with compute shaders for the physics.

theres also the issue of penetration where if a particle somehow gets pushed by another particle inside the target mesh, it cant get out and it also has no target point anymore since it cant see the surface of the target.

WHAT I HAVE SO FAR:
a spawner for the particles, which also holds the target info. if one of the particles finds a target, it alerts the spawner which tells all other particles where to go to cover the game object. the particles use raycasts in the direction of motion and in all cardinal directions relative to the direction of motion. it stores a velocity vector and updates it every fixedupdate.

i realised i was thinking way too big, all i need is a fliud simulation to define a mesh, then use simulated drag to freeze it then save the mesh and replace the simulation mesh for a static one. then just use effects.