I felt this way after creating Zombies vs. Knights.
See, my grand idea was to make a RTS that I of all people could feel comfortable playing. Instead of having the complicated meta-strategies you see in Command Conquer, StarCraft, or others, I cut down the RTS gameplay to its core. I decided it was all about A) creating units, and B) destroying the enemy base. Not about micromanagement; that’s useless because you’re always going to have to cut through the opposing units anyhow! Map navigation? Ha. Same thing. I’ll make RTSes being complicated a thing of the past!
…So, I spent one month building Zombies vs. Knights.
When I submitted it to Wooglie, I was amazed to get a reply along the lines of, “Umm…this game isn’t quite done. You need to finish it.” “But, it is finished!” I replied crossly. “It’s complete, you can start, play, and win or lose. It’s simple, direct and to the point. I’ll implement some of the things you said, but mechanically it’s complete!”
I uploaded it, and while it’s my best ‘selling’ game yet (It’s made me 14 euros on Wooglie, with 40k views over two years since I released it), it’s a flop.
Back to your question. Why did I waste my time on this? I could’ve spent more time at my day job and made a lot more of an immediate profit, and not ‘wasted’ Wooglie’s time, or mine. I could’ve built something else better, because let’s be honest: the game sucks! I could’ve [insert other thing I could’ve/should’ve done here.]
I ‘wasted’ my time on my game, because I tried to create something I would want to play: a cut-down RTS. The problem is, not all gamers want to play what we would want to play. 40k views over two years, for 14 euros, is financially a failure. If I were a company I’d have gone bankrupt then and there.
Do I regret it? Do I truly feel that time was a waste? Hell no.
Here’s what I got from it:
- First, the valuable lesson that we don’t make games for ourselves; we make games for others. There has to be a balance between things we want in a game, and things our audience wants; it’s our job to meet in the middle with a positive experience.
- I built an awesome GUI framework for Zombies vs. Knights. It was so good, I went on to expand and modify it in all my failed prototypes, up to and including my current game, The Hero’s Journey (which, is the best thing since duct tape! [/plug])
- I created a game. Most people don’t make it that far. This was my second game. And, I did it within one month.
- Finally (and, where it all began) I learned what gamers want in an RTS - the conventional RTS. Players want to balance between macro-level and micro-level management. Players want to directly control their minions to set up lop-sided battles, and use special production strategies to defeat their opponents.
Long story short, it wasn’t a waste. 40k views and 14 euros, and knowing more of what it takes to build better games is a pretty darn good payoff, I’d say.
Stop deprecating your game, or your experience. Start learning from it. Ask questions. Write a formal post-mortem.
“What’s a post-mortem?” you may ask. It’s a unbiased examination of your project and how it fell out. Most post mortems are structured in three parts:
What Worked
This part, you talk about the things that worked. Did you create an excellent GUI system? Maybe you made an awesome linear dialogue script for NPCs. Whatever went well, this is where you talk about it.
What Didn’t Go Well
This is usually pretty long, even on successful projects. Say what got in your way. Did you constantly break deadlines? Maybe you had to cut a bunch of content and/or features? Maybe you had to perform a major redesign midway through the project?
You also talk about what happened after here. What were customer complaints about your game? Did you get any customer complaints at all? No knowledge of a problem can be just as diagnostic as a bug report full of it.
Derived Best Practices
Based on the first two sections, you can logically draw some conclusions about things you should be doing more. Some practices prevent ‘Didn’t Work’ things from appearing next time; others ensure that things that ‘Did Work’ continue happening. If you have poor knowledge of what worked or didn’t, maybe finding out is a good practice.
It sounds like to me you’re demoralized, flustered, and out of ideas because you see these negative results, but don’t know what to do with them. A post-mortem is where you start.
Figure out what you A) do know, but more importantly B) don’t know.
Then, come back and ask in a calm, rational manner. Game Development is a trade; it’s both art in that there’s an infinite number of paths to completing a work, but it’s a science in that various actions have known consequences, and that in observing actions, we can logically deduce their consequences given enough data.
Ball’s in your court now. I know rejection hurts…but are you gonna let it roll away, or are you gonna pick it back up, and get back to practice? It’s your call.