Microsoft is actually a secret Farengi-Klingon alliance designed to cripple the Federation. The Farengi are doing the marketing and the Klingons are writing the code. — Steve Baker
For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless. And then it occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match. — Bill Bryson
Writing code has a place in the human hierarchy worth somewhere above grave robbing and beneath managing. — Gerald Weinberg
Should array indices start at 0 or 1?; My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration. — Stan Kelly-Bootle
It has been said that the great scientific disciplines are examples of giants standing on the shoulders of other giants. It has also been said that the software industry is an example of midgets standing on the toes of other midgets. — Alan Cooper
Trying to outsmart a compiler defeats much of the purpose of using one. — Kernighan & Plauger
Don’t anthropomorphize computers - they hate it.